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I call up Mike each week. We have great conversations about music and life and mallets. Usually in each conversation Mike tells me a joke. I begged him to let me start the MIKE BALTER JOKE OF THE WEEK. After a few months of asking him he agreed.

Mike is a great guy who really cares about the world of percussion passionately. He's a great friend of mine and someone whom I really respect!

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vibraman Sat, 07/25/2009 - 02:42

yeah nice one :)

i don´t know if it´s the same in the usa but in germany double bass players are rare to find and they got more gigs to play then most other one guy decided to become a double player and went to a guy to get the first week he showed him the low e string and said just practic the low e and come back next week.he did and went back to his teacher who was pleased with that.he said ok next string is the a string just practice that and come back next week.on the next week the student didn´t show up.even not on the next 4 weeks so the teacher thought ok the guy did quit.after 3 months they both met on the street and teacher asks:hey why didn´t you show up anymore?
student:i´m sorry but i got no time cause i play so many gigs...

John Keene Sat, 07/25/2009 - 20:05

In reply to by tonymiceli

There is this family where every male has played the upright bass going back for generations. So when the youngest son is old enough, his father says, "Time for you to start lessons on the upright bass." The son says, "I don't want to play the bass. I don't want any lessons." The father says, "What do you mean? Every male in our family for five generations has learned to play the bass." The son says, "No thanks."

Father says, "Well, what instrument do you want to learn?" Son replies, "The violin."

"The violin!!!! THE VIOLIN!! Don't you realize that if you move your finger a half-inch you'll be out of tune?"

DrBobM55 Sat, 07/25/2009 - 14:08

What's the last thing a drummer says to the band?

"Hey Guys, I wrote a few new tunes."

Bob Wesner

tifoo Sun, 07/26/2009 - 09:08

"a string quintet finds a 500 on stage after a concert, who will take it ?"


First violin will not bend over for only 500,
Second Violin will not bend over if first doesn't,
Altist has not seen it,
Cellist had to left for antoher gig straight after concert,
Bassist didn't understood when the others told him to grab it.


Babu Thu, 01/20/2011 - 15:34

One night Jim goes to a smartlooking bar, and, oh ! good surprise ! there's a jazz pianist and oh! oh! the pianist is Frank, his old mate at highscool, 20 years they don't meet... They soon have drinks, and start to chat about good old times...; but each time Frank has a new whisky, a little monkey hidden in the flowers of the decoration stairs down, put quickly his balls into the whisky and disapears, and Frank doesn't seem to notice.... nobody worry about that monkey, then Jim hesitate to say something about that... And Frank doesn't stop to play those good old jazz tunes, while chatting with Jim all time long...
Two hours later, both are something drunk (5 or 6 whiskies, and 5 or 6 monkeys...), Jim cannot resist any more and ask to Frank :
- Frank, can i ask you som'thin ?
- Aaall wh't'y want, Jiiim
- Frank, do you know the monkey who put his balls in the whisky... hips...?
- hummm, let's see, Jim... hem...huh, please,.... could you sing for me the first bars ?

Two women are having coffee and chatting it up about some recent dates. The one woman says to the other, "Hey, forgot to ask, but how was that date with the french horn player the other night?" She replies, "It went well, but when we got back to his apartment and started to make out, he kept trying to shove his hand up my ass!"

tonymiceli Tue, 02/08/2011 - 17:42

In reply to by Marie-Noëlle

she has reared out of the ground to warn us with our jokes!

behng Wed, 02/09/2011 - 13:10

In reply to by tonymiceli

I knew I would be scolded for this! I'm going to need a time out and no televsion for at least 2 days!

Marie-Noëlle Wed, 02/09/2011 - 13:58

In reply to by tonymiceli

TV has no value for such a passionate player. Vibes is the right target, I agree.
Hmm... then what about those who dared laughing and find it funny? Huh? ;-)
- M. the I.

tonymiceli Thu, 02/10/2011 - 15:33

In reply to by Marie-Noëlle

anything to slow behn gillece down.


drslg Thu, 01/20/2011 - 16:38

and i love them. thanks mike and tony. I like the engraving in blue and the black bottoms. they sound great on my vibe

toddc Fri, 01/21/2011 - 13:48

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."